For good

On Valentines day i had to do the hardest thing i've ever done. Something that will stay in my mind and heart forever. My dog was diagnosed with Lymphoma. I got him when he was a puppy, and hes been through everything with my family for more then a decade. That fur ball grew up as i did. Now looking for a new pup really makes me realize how much of a person he was. how much of a part of our family he was. He protected us and loved us like a human. He had a personality and habits. He had a life, and i was forced to take it away. Towards the end of his life he was coughing continuously and choking on that god damned lymphoma. It was hard to watch him close his eyes and drop his head as the vet pushed in that deadly pink venom. But now i think its harder to find a new dog. A dog that is going to be different then him, one who will fill a different and new chapter with my family and me. Wish me luck. and may you rest in peace my love. We miss you. We love you.

Viva Karnival

This past weekend, i had gone to a carnival with my little 7 year old sister and my father. Having a few non-aquatic drinks before, my dad was having a good time. A good time telling me to take my little source of energy on every ride. I demanded a payment. Cotton Candy, the ultimate devil for a girl whose got the extra baggage side of my dad. Going on every ride really wasn't the worst part. The whip lash from the "zipper" ride, where you are restricted in a cage as it turns around and around with every squeak of the confinement making your heart skip every other beat. No the worst part was losing my sister for 15 minutes. I tell you, thinking the worst is the worst part of losing someone. So many children, so many adults, so many possibilities. For that moment i felt like a mother. i felt everything, anger, sorrow, confidence, depression. Images moving through my mind like a video tape skipping. I felt more then relief when we found her. or should i say she found us. Thank whatever is out there for not letting the negative situation happen. I would have committed myself to suicide if she had not come back to us. I love my family, i'd like to save losing them for another time, a time farther away. A lot farther away.

all photos are of my own. taken with an iphone.

outfit: hat: unkown blazer: thrifted dress: thrifted tights: American Apparel sheer Thigh high socks: American Apparel Shoes: Doc Martens

Lousy Reputation

Because i am so poor and have no patience when it comes to money, Come to think of it, i have no patience period. I really dislike the fact that i love instant gratification. Why cant i just wait, just relax, just keep that card or cash in my pocket rather then just throwing it away. My mamma thinks i should read books about saving money, but i feel that will do nothing granted i rarely finish things that i start. I have so much to pay for now a days. Passport, Poland, Computer, Camera, etc. the list goes on and on. Can you imagine a life without money? It is so interesting how without money, we would probably have something else like rocks or plastic. Humans cannot live without trading. Unfortunately some of us are born wealthy, some of us take the stupid advantage of that. I really should believe in myself more. Here we go. Natalia, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Ah much better

in the photo to the right i am wearing Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell, Disco pants: American Apparel, Tank: thrifted, Jacket: Urban Outfitters, Scarf: My moms

In the bathtub picture i am wearing nothing. naturally

Long distance relationship

Howdy everyone (or no-one). It's been forever since i've posted anything. i feel like this blog is me, and i tend to start things and never finish them. i am CONVINCED that i can pull through with this. I love to talk, i love to talk about me, i love to talk about you, and i love to talk. Last week i went on a little trip to LAS VEGAS for the MAGIC(al) tradeshow. Learned alot, saw alot, drank alot (of water). It was definitley an amaizing experience. Some trends i saw were, lace and velvet. There were primarily soft and pastel colors, but in nuetral tones. By day i worked, by night i played. Being underage in vegas is such a unholy situation, but looking older then your age is helpful. I really enjoy the older crowd. Although not a day goes by where i wish i looked 16. But the grass is always more fertalized on the other side. So as i go on with my life, i leave a piece of me everywhere i go. i don't know.

Two thousand and ten

Welcome 2010

good bye 2009, the last single digit year of my life time.. SCARY

out with the old in with the new

hello

Under a House made of Paper

Ellie Goulding is SO cute. I love this girls style, voice, music. Shes incredibly pretty im so jealous of her. Take a look at her music when you get the chance, its got this eerie electro vibe to it. so Brilliant! CHECK IT

http://www.myspace.com/elliegoulding

Dwell Kill Hate Bill

So i just realized the word well is in dwell.

and to dwell is to linger or continuously think.

and a well is like never ending. it just keeps going and going. not literally but figuratively

Have you ever thought about the word kill?

You can be ill (sick) which can turn into kill.

A pill can help you when you’re ill, but too many can lead to kill.

Also, there’s the word bill. Like a dollar bill.

Can too many bills lead to kills?

Don’t be greedy.

The word hate.

You can hate someone, but maybe it all started with a date?

And then you were meant to be with that person, which is fate.

When you found them, they became your mate.

But after years of frustration that concept from love and fate evolved to nothing but hate.

Hey Girl, i wanna be on what your on!

Alright, so one thing i dont understand, Do these types of girls leave looking like messes? or is that just how they end up after drinking or poppin drugs? How can you let yourself get that way? Dont you care about what you look like or feel? Dont you tell your uncontrollable mind, Hey i think i've had enough. I guess its different for every person, but come on now. Have some respect for yourself. Its not your friends job to take care of you when your messed up. Its your body, you come on this earth alone and you leave it the same way. AMEN!

photos by cobra snake

Spot the girl. Hint- she looks nekked

Repetto

If i could splurge i would :(

these shoes are to DIE for!

A little bit of Tuesday night

Tuesday night was a blast.

I went with one of my old friends from high school (monica) and one of my co workers Kenny. Monica and i once got in big trouble a month before graduation when we ditched a class to pick up some tickets to grad night. and kenny is just the greatest :) so chill cute funny ((LADIES HES SINGLE))

We had the time of our lives dancing around sipping on sum long islands. Met some fob from france name Jean Pierre!! I will ALWAYS remember that night. Not to mention it was Steve Aoki's birthday! it was definatly worth it. i love going out like this. Hollywood just wasnt ready for us!

--imges by Cobra Snake <3